Work Notes
by redfirerose
Summary: If you want to know the basics of work place interactions, all you have to do is read the in office notes. AU, plotless, and entirely crack. enjoy.


Author's note: okay this was written as a present for my friends. Basically notes passed around an office, where the DN cast work. The original was written in different fonts and colors, so it was easier to tell who was writing what. Hope you all enjoy! Sorry for any confusion this may cause.- Redfirerose (aka: B)

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did, it would descend into a mass orgy within the first 5 minutes.

Matt, did you buy any chocolate last Tuesday?-M

No, you said you had enough to last until next paycheck.-The real M

I'm out of Hershey's and Light Imagay won't let me leave the buildings on my lunch break anymore.-Original M

...Why? - The cool M

Remember when I blew up Near's car in the parking lot? Turns out the debris nicked his paint job. - The cooler M

... That was you? – aMazing M

Who else would it be? Who else in this shitty company would be crazy enough to do it? –THE M

B. or maybe Mikami, I don't trust him._ M2

I am still chocolate less, Mattie. - Murderous

Wait till lunchtime and put it on the list. -the patient M

Who's doing the lunch run today? -M

Someone in accounting. -M2

L? -M

Near. Sorry. -M2

Fuck. -M

Hey everyone! Nearie-kins' going to Olive Garden for lunch so write down what you want! -Misa-Misa (AN/ Guess who got what.)

Grilled Chicken Flatbread

Chicken and Gnocchi soup

Chocolate Gelato

Tiramisu, Black Tie Mousse Cake, and 3 orders of Zeppoli.

Grilled Chicken Caesar

Grilled Chicken Caesar

Strawberry Jam

Beyond. Olive garden does not sell strawberry jam jars. –N

I don't care. Get me my Jam or I'll destroy your car. -B

Mello beat you to it. –N

Damn. –B

Light! I just wanted to leave a little note saying how much I love you! –Misa-Misa

Light-Sama, what would you recommend I eat for dinner this week? -Mikami.

I love you more than sunshine, or kittens, or air, or food , or butterflies, or rainbows, or bunnies or cheese or lobster or…. –Misa-misa

God, I mean, Light-Sama, what do you think I should do when I go home tonight? –Mikami

Mello said I should get you some chocolates to show you how much I love you, so I got you some Godiva truffles. But I can't find them… did you see them around anywhere? - Misa-Misa.

Oops I forgot, to tell you there's a meeting with Mr. Whammy scheduled in about 10 mins. Sorry!- Misa-Misa

Light, I wanted to get your opinion on a painting I'm thinking of hanging in my living room. Do you think you could stop by my house tonight to look at it? - Mikami

L, why is Light currently hiding under my desk? -B

I see you found some chocolate. –M2

Yup, Misa gave it to me. -M

Sure she did. –M2

Does anyone besides Misa, Matsuda, and I attend any of the meetings? –N

No. we tend to avoid your kind like the plague. –M

Does anyone know if there are any sugar cubes left in the break room? -L

Which one? -B

All of them- L

Did you check your second desk drawer??-B

Ah no, I didn't. Thank you, B –L

This is unacceptable. I have a department head currently cowering under my desk, two obsessive sycophants trying to break down my door to get to said department head, an ineffective boss, retarded coworkers, and to top it off, I am still Jam-less. This is my 2 hours notice. I quit. Try to find the bomb, or get the fuck out. I don't care anymore. -B

Whammy Building Bombed!

Whammy's corporate headquarters was destroyed just after 1' o clock Monday morning, allegedly when a disgruntled employee decided to quit and level the building behind him.. So far no fatalities have been reported as the bomber gave a warning 2 hours prior to the explosion; however, 3 workers are in the hospital, after the room they were locked in collapsed. One worker, Mikami Teru, has been moved out of intensive care and was able to be questioned; however officials are sending in analysts to monitor Mr. Teru's mental state. When asked, Chief Yagami stated that upon waking the man was raving about God, and disturbing the Psychiatric ward. Chief Yagami's son, Light Yagami head of Whammy's public relations department, stated that this was how Mr. Teru acted before the explosion. The other two victims, accountant Nate Rivers, and Model Misa-Misa have yet to be moved, but their conditioned has stabilized and they should recover. While asking employees at the scene what may have caused the breakdown, Mihael "Mello" Kheel had this to say: "it's all Nears fault. We all knew B was violent if he didn't get his jam, and that idiot (Near) refused to let him have any." When asked for a name, all employees replied that he was simply known as B and that his real name was never mentioned. Police are working to find and apprehend this "B" but so far have turned up no new leads as to his whereabouts.

Hey Matt, looks like Near's gonna live. –M2

I TOLD Imagay to lock them in the janitors closet, but Mikami wouldn't fit.-M

Oh well, at least we don't have to go back to work until the new building is finished. – M2

Hey Matt, I'm out of chocolate. –M

THISISYETANOTHERLINE

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